November 24, 2009

Addiction

I "joined" weight watchers like I said. Has it worked? NO. Why? Because of me. I fear success. So instead I retreat to my fears. I get all pumped to wake up and to start this journey! I am positive every morning that I can succeed. I pray and turn my fears over to God and plead for his. He helps, he's with me, but I give up somehow, somewhere during the day. I feel like I can handle just one cookie, or one tiny milk chocolaty m&m. I give in. The taste of that sugar lingers on my lips and I want more. I dive into the cookie jar, and stuff my face. I eat one roll and NEED more. I have an addiction. And I don't know how to overcome it. My heart is breaking as I right this. How have I become this? Why did I let this happen? They say the first step is admitting. Well I admit it. I am addicted to food, and don't know how to overcome it.

So here's to admitting. Maybe I can do it tomorrow? Who knows.....

5 comments:

  1. you can do it Jess. I have faith in you. get rid of all temptation in your house, that's where i fail.

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  2. My naturopath told me to take some Chromium Picolinate. It helps to stop cravings. Look it up online! You can do it girl. I have worked hard at this very thing several times and I know it is possible! Love you

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  3. So there was this time my freshmen year when I wanted to run 6 miles every day, but I was having a really hard time. So every mile I completed I would raise my arms and do a little victory dance as I ran. I was more subtle about my victory shouts if others were on the track with me. But it was easier to run six miles when I was having a celebration every mile. So what I'm saying is maybe instead of giving up sugar you should run six miles instead....or wait...or was I trying to say that you should celebrate every time you passed up sugar? Interpret to you liking.

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  4. I am laughing so hard right now..Why you may ask..well because this is all too familiar. :) In fact there is a bag of M&Ms SCREAMING at me in my kitchen as we speak (or type--whatever you want to call it). I've given up sugar 3 times in my life--for a month at a time.(because Russ told me I COULDN'T do it--had to prove him wrong) It was hard the first week-and then by the end of the month I actually stopped craving it. But then I retreated and gave in-....you know the rest. So its all about substitutions. Eat something that is yummy and sweet that is maybe a little better than that cookie...like grapes or strawberries, or if you really NEED chocolate like me...go get a little but then brush your teeth right after, or pop some gum in your mouth. I promise it works. Also if you like grapefruit...that works good too to get rid of the craving. :) But don't think for a minute that I am diligent in doing all of these things...I'm a sugar addict as well....:) Its all about baby steps..

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  5. Jess,
    I could've written this myself. You articulated what I feel pretty much everyday. If you figure it out, let me know, okay?

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